Monday News: If you hadn’t heard ‘Jack and Jill’ is a terrible movie

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Can you believe the Oscars last night? Well I can but I’m going to avoid really going into it as I’m trying to save some of that for when we record tonight. Anyway, stuff besides that happened and here’s some of the stuff that struck my fancy in the past week between taking pictures of tiny army men and watching indulgent Oscar flicks.

-Staggering MOTUC custom Protector continues to make me curse the heavens at my lack of customizing talent

Joe Amaro, who you may remember from his incredible made-from-scratch Robot Knights, has made another gorgeous custom. This time it’s the “Protector” who was a cardboard cutout that was included with Castle Grayskull back in the day, something I barely remembered but he picked up on and made amazing; I’m going to have to do some detective work and find out if this thing ever appeared in any storybooks or ancillary media as it’s pretty awesome. Check the custom out here while keeping in mind he’s working on a custom Castle Grayskull for it to hang out in. [Source: Joe Amaro via Poe Ghostal’s Points of Articulation]

- Atomic Robo Kickstarter project needs your help in order for Greymattersplat’s dreams to come true

Any of you guys read Atomic Robo? I haven’t had the chance, and trust me, you can definitely tell judging by how I originally typed ‘Giant Robo’ when I was starting this section. Anyway, I hear it’s pretty good stuff or something and there’s an animated short that a group of fans have been working on that they’ve got a Kickstarter page for. It looks better than Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and the whole internet was way on board with that until they actually saw it, so what’s the harm in watching the trailer? The creators seem to be supporting it so maybe this can one day lead to that third Hellboy movie Guillermo Del Toro needs to make. Because that’s how things work in my head. [Source: Kickstarter via Greymattersplat on Twitter]

New ad shows new perspective on teaser, possibly THE SPACE JOCKEY

** WEEKLY PROMETHEUS UPDATE** **WEEKLY PROMETHEUS UPDATE** **WEEKLY PROMETHEUS UPDATE** **WEEKLY PROMETHEUS UPDATE**

Major spoilers ahead as Guy Pearce has apparently revealed his role in highly anticipated Ridley Scott film Prometheus. I don’t want to spoil anything for people looking for information besides the presence of THE SPACE JOCKEY so highlight in order to see what huge detail was oddly given away in this translated version of a minor interview: Guy Pearce is apparently playing Peter Weyland, owner of the Prometheus. I haven’t had time to examine how this potentially relates to THE SPACE JOCKEY but it remains an interesting detail nonetheless besides telling us Prometheus and Alien are connected in the way we basically already knew. Nevertheless, we here on the internet will not rest until we find the EXACT connection the film has with THE SPACE JOCKEY so that we can be aware of every minute detail well in advance of the film’s release. [Source: AVPGalaxy]

My dreams of reenacting the ending of Metroid II are a little too expensive at this time

- Max Factory releases gallery of Figma Samus, simultaneously manages to elate and frustrate me in the same series of photos

I can’t tell you how excited I am for the Figma of Samus coming out this June, what with being an almost inexpressably big Metroid fan. I’m actually debating buying two of the $60+ or – figure with the insane idea of keeping one MIP. I basically never do that, especially with something that’s kind of high end. Anyway, Max Factory has some awesome new photos of the figure in action and it looks incredible; Metroid: Other M‘s mediocrity was worth it in order to get the franchise in the public’s eye enough for this figure to get made. Still, I’m a little annoyed they included the actual Metroid in the photoshoot as it’s not included with the figma; rather, it comes with the Zero Suit Samus statue that is way too impractical for me to afford as well as happening to split the design aesthetic a little too closely to Team Ninja’s specific Other M interpretation. Of course, both the Figma and statue are based on that but the former isn’t too distinct from what we’ve seen across various other games. Anyway, the Figma looks gorgeous and I’m glad to have a Samus that isn’t 1.) the old and expensive Joyride studios figure that looked kind of cheap or 2.) one of those incredible looking but expensive statues that First 4 figures makes. Samus is estimated to arrive at online retailers in June while a domestic release through someone like Diamond has yet to be heard of. [Source: Tomopop]

- Joel Kinnaman offered lead in Robocop remake, my already thin interest immediately begins to falter despite me writing a paragraph about how uninterested I am, which addresses several details about just how uninterested I am in this project which, I should note, I am not interested in.

I can’t say I’m a fan of Joel Kinnaman but he may be getting horribly disfigured in a gang shootout only to come back as part man, part machine, all cop to fight a corrupt corporation while grappling with a series of programming directives completely not ripped off from Asimov’s 3 laws of robotics. I’m not sure what’s up with the huge rush to remake all these Paul Verhoeven movies but I guess we don’t know what kind of tone they’ll strike until Total Recall is released. Some of the thematic stuff in Robocop is actually really relevant even now, primarily the corporate evil angle, but I’m mostly rooting for them keeping ED-209 incapable of traversing stairs. I’m hoping they’ll avoid the awful “aren’t-we-cheesy” tone that a recent movie I saw with a burning skeleton riding a motorcycle did but I know nothing about Jose Padilha as a filmmaker. Here’s hoping he’s not too self-conscious or too oblivious to the original’s tone though I have no idea why I care so much. Anyway, I haven’t seen Kinnaman in anything but the first season of The Killing where I thought he was absolutely over-the-top in the worst “I want to be the new DeNiro” way. He was in Safehouse as well, though I won’t hold that against him, directed by the same guy who helped Kinnaman make a name for himself in Snabba Cash so maybe I should check those out to see if I need to revise my opinion. I thought Safehouse was the most ridiculous holier-than-thou action flick with hypocritical though quickly forgotten judgment call plot message I’ve seen in ages though I think people are already forgetting it exists despite it making a pretty good amount of money so far. Kinnaman definitely looks intense though his painful badboy posturing in The Killing was one of the worst parts of a staggeringly average show and he completely failed to make an impression on me in the apparently 27 seconds he was in of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Maybe he’s a really excellent actor when they aren’t just hiring him to play that creepy wannabe rebel; good for him getting offered big roles though I have to wonder what they’re aiming at since he isn’t quite a headliner and I don’t think Robocop is going to help anyone break out as a star unless they ditch the face obscuring helmet. [Source: Slash Film]

- Razzie’s are announced, continue to bag on Jack and Jill thereby reminding people a movie they’d already forgotten exists

Maybe I’m getting old but the Razzie’s seem terrifically phoned in this year, with a “hilarious” number of nominations for anything starring Adam Sandler. I’m not going to defend any of his recent product (or really any of his product) as great art but judging by the success of Reign over Me, Punchdrunk Love, and Funny People it’s pretty obvious people want to see him doing similar schtick to what he’s been doing for years; he’s not Sacha Baron Cohen and no one’s asking that out of him. Also calling Rosie Huntington-Whitely the “Underwear Model” is a little sexist and demeaning no matter how snarky it’s meant to sound in tradition of things like “Robin Hood Prince of Dweebs”. I guess they just seem wearisome in an age where the internet has allowed people to tell us how everyone who likes these movies is stupid for months on end already, so I suppose it seems old hat. Do they really need to inform anyone that Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a bad movie? Yeah, it is, but anyone that expected it to be the best picture of the year probably doesn’t even know that this sort of thing exists anyway. There were way worse movies this year than it, Jack and Jill and Just go with it; there were ones even worse than Twilight: Breaking Dawn. It just seems less like they’re concerned with pointing out terrible failures than they are just reinforcing the viewpoint that people like the guys at Half in the Bag have been vomiting all over us for months. What about Green Lantern? Apollo 18? Red Riding Hood? Battle: Los Angeles? I am Number Four? Mr. Popper’s Penguins? Priest? How can you seriously do something like this without Sucker Punch? How are Bucky Larsen, Just Go with it and Jack and Jill worse than Zookeeper? How is the year’s biggest wide release crime Creature not mentioned anywhere? We get it guys, Nicolas Cage and Adam Sandler are in a LOT of bad movies and Michael Bay is a one-trick pony making ridiculous action movies with nothing resembling depth but at what point did any of those movies take themselves more seriously than Immortals did? Most of those nominees are just bad but not truly awful on the level of something like Catwoman, Wild Wild West or even The Last Airbender. I’ve got to stop before I start sounding like a hipster about pointing out crappy movies but I mean honestly, looking at the Razzie’s website now it seems like they’re too enthusiastic for things to suck horribly; when that happens you start losing sight of how anything can ever be good and just start watching terrible movies non-stop like Transmorphers, Mansquito and any gimmicky take on a zombie movie from the past 8 years. You’re not in high school anymore guys, time to actually start caring about why you might not like something that’s supposed to be good and not just hate on something everyone already knows is terrible. [Source: The Razzies]

Well I think those two mini-rants are a good place to end this week’s news; apparently the second wave of Hasbro’s Marvel Legends reboot is already out and I have to get ready to record tonight so I’m going to go strategize and get myself worked up for your guy’s audio amusement (maybe). We’ll be back tomorrow with something so keep the hits coming so that I can better distract myself from seeing how there’s 9000 articles about how Adam Sandler fans need to be gassed to death in a theater instead of ones looking at something like how Stephen Daldry can’t make a movie without farming a past tragedy for it’s pre-installed emotional reactions since his directing can never create new ones in an audience.

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3 Responses to “Monday News: If you hadn’t heard ‘Jack and Jill’ is a terrible movie”
  1. That custom is awesome and I’m saddened that he’s going full completion with the Castle interior since I’ve had plans for another awesome castle detail that struck me pretty hard as a kid for quite some time.

    Darn you, AMARO!

    If my last name was Amaro, I’d change my first name to Space Battleship, because even though it sounds completely different it still sounds great.

    Given the law that all reboots must be grim and grittier versions of the originals, I don’t see how Robocop will be possible with opening up a wormhole in our reality or incorporating tentacle porn. Probably both. Gonna need some tentacles to fill that wormhole.

    • Instead of that goofy guy saying “I’ll buy that for a dollar!” it’ll be “I’ll buy that for a hit!” and they’ll proceed to sniff blow off a hooker’s tramp stamp before Batman, Daredevil and The Spirit break into the house and shoot him gangland execution style before blowing it up in a rain of terrorist body parts. All of this scene will be in black and white with lots of internal narration

      • That sounds like Frank Miller is not only directing, but lifting up his shirt to reveal a second Quato-like Frank Miller who will co-direct will all the anger and passion you’d associate from being a malformed rudimentary twin attached to a larger Frank Miller.

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